Ray Rice

What Goes on Behind Closed Doors…

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In light of the recent events involving Baltimore Ravens football player, Ray Rice and his wife Janay, I feel completely compelled and obligated to express my deep concerns about the matter. In no way is this scripted or rehearsed; nor is it edited or revised. It is my raw account of the situation. At this time, I am sure just about everyone in the nation is aware and/or have seen the shocking video footage of the incident in the elevator. I don’t have to know “all the facts” in order to give my opinion. In fact, I don’t even need a video. I would like to first and foremost say that this is not about the fault of the National Football League Commissioner. Nor does the finger get pointed to the media and the general public. The blame lies solely on the coward. It really, REALLY upsets me to know that Domestic Violence exists. Some things in life are preventable; such as obesity or some types of cancer. I fell that DV is alive and well because of US. All of US. As a DV survivor, I can say first hand that there is a way out. No one is deserving of forced misery and fear. To be honest, I don’t know where the disconnect started; giving someone total control and power over your own well being. The mind is a powerful force and unfortunately not always for the greater good. It pains me to see a women give up a part of her soul and spirit, to strengthen someone else’s. As women, we are natural-born nurturers. We want to confront and protect. Maybe that’s why it acceptable to forgive. Where did it start for someone to have such a damaged self-worth?? I wish I could answer my own question, since I was once had that state of mind. I do not even know when or where I gained the courage to walk away. All I can account for are the excuses I made for him and HIS actions. I didn’t want anyone to see the external and internal bruises. I remember the incredible fear; fear of what will happen next; will he really hurt me next time. I was lucky. I am alive. For some people, the results are fatal. Men too are victims; and the numbers are rising. I don’t want it to seem that I am reaching out to just women, no, males too are subjected to DV. It is not socially acceptable for a main to be abused by a woman. But abuse comes in all shades; physical, emotional, finically and psychological. I don’t know a better way to say this: love NEVER hurts. Manipulation does. There should never be a time or an incidence in your relationship where you feel the “need” to get violent. NEVER. NO EXCUSE. No one can tell me differently. I don’t want to hear, “it was only one time”, “what if I served it”. ” shit happens”, ” it was an accident”. All of these are nothing but pathetic lies to cover up the ugly truth. If you are a victim of DV, I urge you to seek help immediately. You don’t have to be alone. If you feel stuck, reach out to me. I have plenty of resources. Just know that you are not by yourself; there are people that can help you and your family. It will take time to build your moral strength to finally comprehend that YOU matter.

Thanks.

R.

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